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MarxWatch has Triggered Marxist Redditors

Posted on May 7, 2019 by Enmerkar

The common saying is Reddit is where *chan memes go to die. It’s also where communities go to die. Today, we mock the Marxist redditors trying to DDoS MarxWatch.

This post relies heavily on embedded Reddit comments, so you will struggle to follow along if you use NoScript.

The Reddit Thread

His username – 15rthughes – is a mouthful, so I’ll call this guy Rookie. The reason why is self-evident if you read his code. Rookie describes himself as a software developer and adds “Communism is a good thing”. I describe Rookie as a clueless code-bootcamp graduate. Rookie wrote a shitty script to flood MarxWatch with bogus reports. It looks like he wrote it not long after completing “Learn Python the Hard Way”.

So, Rookie, you might think I’d be mad at you, but I’m not. In fact, I celebrate your achievements. By writing a shitty DoS script for MarxWatch, and making it very popular in your corner of the Marxist sphere, you have protected us from a more effective attack en masse. For this reason, I award you the MarxWatch Unintentional Supporter Award:

MarxWatch Unintentional Supporter Award
MarxWatch Unintentional Supporter Award

Well done, Rookie. Maybe once you figure out that communism is a death cult, you can join us for real.


This genius gave some five-star advice to Rookie: “… you could run this through AWS Lambda for lots of scaling and to make it difficult to do any kind of IP blocking.”

I fully agree that Rookie should do exactly that. It would totally own us. In fact, we’d be so owned, I’d have to report this abuse to Amazon, getting Rookie fined or banned from AWS, possibly even prosecuted for cybercrime. Don’t you know that AWS accounts are tied to your real identity?

Rookie, take this guy’s advice. He’s 100% right. You can be a communist hero!


Shut up, fascist! Don’t you see the Glorious People’s DDoS is already underway? Why are you sabotaging our praxis with your facts and reason? You’re no better than a Nazi!

Marxist comrades, don’t listen to this wolf in sheep’s clothing. He’s trying to discourage you from owning the fash with your shitty script cutting-edge technology. Also, Tor is really slow, so you’ll never knock down those fascist servers if you pass your traffic through it. Nothing beats going in raw. Turn off your VPN, disable your TorSocks, and start blasting. Who even logs request IPs, anyway?


MarxWatch Unintentional Supporter Award
MarxWatch Unintentional Supporter Award

There is something to be said for being so dumb that you hatch a clever plot to confuse the enemy… by doxing yourself. Get in touch with us, TheJollyRogerz, we’d like to help you educate other Marxists to emulate your ways.

Final Remarks

First off, don’t read between the lines at all here. I haven’t put in place any defenses to mitigate the effects of this sort of attack. And, remember, nobody logs IP addresses, right? Turn off that pesky VPN and blast this site unprotected. For the cause, comrade!

For those who are not triggered Marxists, notice how deep our mere existence got under their skin. MarxWatch, at its core, is modeled on Joseph McCarthy’s successful suppression of Marxism in the United States. His efforts made them have to go underground for decades, to finally resurface today. McCarthy was right that Marxists run Hollywood. McCarthy was right that they’re in the universities and schools. And today, Marxists are also in technology companies, using them to suppress their political opponents in broad daylight.

This isn’t even the only Reddit thread. News about MarxWatch’s existence made the rounds on Marxist subreddits, totaling eleven threads on an equal number of subreddits!

Do you like seeing Marxists embarrass themselves? Would you like to turn up the temperature on them so they’re constantly sweating? Start a MarxWatch page for your local community. Get in touch.